All Paths Lead to Nowhere
by EternalSorrowOfAngels
Summary: The Grey Warden Lia takes a moment to wonder about the alternate paths her life may have taken. A couple of snippets of Lia trying to figure out life outside the Tower of Magi. I might write some more, or I might not.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Okay, I have only ever written Mass Effect fanfiction but when I started playing Dragon age, I just couldn't not.**

**This _might_ be a one-shot, or it might be a prologue. Depends on how much this idea takes root in my mind.**

**Which it kind of already has... _Gah!_**

**Also, I have not finished the game yet. I think that I'm probably solidly in the middle right now, so please, if you're going to leave a review (which would be awesome of you), no spoils. This is my first playthrough.**

**Also, note to Bioware: I both love and hate you guys in equal measure. I am incapable of putting down a Bioware game, but I have stuff that I need to do!**

**You guys suck for being so awesome!**

* * *

"Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if this hadn't happened to you?"

Lia quirked an eyebrow at the random question as she sat at the edge of Morrigan's little secluded section of camp. The two mages had struck up an odd friendship. Lia knew that Morrigan's attitude could be a particularly harsh one at times - _cruel_, even - and she completely understood Alistair's problems with her, but she simply took it in stride. Morrigan held no punches, and Lia had to admit that she liked that about her.

"You mean if I hadn't become a Grey Warden?"

"Exactly," Morrigan replied, in her usual, blunt manner, confusing Lia further. "Why are you looking at me as if I have sprouted another head?"

Lia shrugged. "Just... it's not a question I expected from you."

Morrigan sighed at that. "I only ask because you've been living within your own head far more than usual these past few days."

Lia smiled a little at that. "Getting worried about me?"

Morrigan rolled her eyes. "Deflecting with humour. I wonder where you picked up _that_ character trait. Forget I even asked."

Lia's smile faded a little as her gaze wandered over the camp. "It wouldn't matter," she muttered in response. "Even if I hadn't become a Grey Warden, I would still-"

She stopped herself there.

Because, honestly, she didn't know where she would have been. Maybe locked up for helping Jowan. And, even if she had been forgiven, would she really have _wanted_ the Chantry's forgiveness? She had always understood the need for the Circle and the Templars but... understanding did not vanquish all of her bitterness. The knowledge that she would always be bound by their laws.

In truth, she was no more restricted now than she had ever been, but the ties that bound her - weighted things such as honour and duty that she felt no _real_ affinity for - seemed tighter now. Maybe because before she had never had a taste of what life outside might have been like. But now she knew better.

Her eye wandered the far end of the campsite until they were met, catching her off guard as she felt her face heat with a growing blush, and she knew she had her answer.

"No, Morrigan, I don't wonder. If I hadn't become a Grey Warden, I wouldn't be here now, with all of you."

She had to admit that her recent conversation with Wynne had brought home some things she had been avoiding. She had been so caught up in everything, anything beyond the Blight was simply unthinkable. But... during their recent trip to the Fade, when she had seen what the demons had offered him; a safe, stable life far from even the thought of war, surrounded by family.

Even if neither of them had been chosen to be Grey Wardens, they still would have been bound to other lives of restriction. There would never have been a better ending.

"You mean here with Alistair?" Morrigan asked, observing her friend's reactions.

Lia shrugged. "It was this or the tower. And, let's face it, another day in that place and I might have gone insane."

"Had I been in your place, I would have flung myself from that tower long ago..."

Lia smirked a little at that before deciding that she was simply too exhausted for talk of might-have-beens, or for any talk at all, for that matter.

She may not have a safe, stable life far from even the thought of war, surrounded by family, but she did have the warm embrace of her love as she slept.

And that was more than enough for her.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Okay, this isn't the idea I had for this fic originally if I was going to continue it, but I found the decisions in this game difficult. (Yeah, I know, it's dumb, most of them don't matter, and they're all just pixels anyway, but still...)**

**So, here's another snippet of Lia. I might do one more post-ending one. Maybe an Awakening one too, if that inspires me...**

**Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

"Is there a reason for us heading into the forests? Not that I object, 'tis a nice change, but an odd one."

Lia didn't respond to her friend immediately, but seemed to decide that they had ventured far enough into the wilderness, swapping her stride for fidgety pacing. "I just... I can't take any more of walls. For over ten years I knew nothing but the walls of that Maker damned tower and now... Is anyone ever truly free? I thought I had found freedom at last but it was nothing more than a fragile illusion."

"Lia, what is bothering you?" Morrigan asked as her friend continued to pace, threading her fingers through her light brown hair, pulling it from her pointed ears.

"People. People are bothering me. They impose these stupid rules and laws for no fathomable reason. Perhaps it is simply because they cannot think for themselves. Maker, given how often they ask me to make their important decisions for them, that seems like the most likely explanation!"

Morrigan nodded in understanding. "Ah. 'Tis not past choices that are plaguing you, is it? You wonder whether Alistair or Anora are the best choice for the throne."

Lia groaned. "I wonder why it falls to me to make this decision in the first place. I mean, I am hardly knowledgeable about such things!"

"'Tis not important why it falls to you. It does, regardless. So, which will you choose?"

The young elven mage let out a frustrated sigh, shaking her head. "I don't know. I... Alistair doesn't want this but... he's a good man. And maybe, once in awhile, you need a leader who doesn't want to have the throne. But I have no idea; my knowledge of the world comes from the books I read in that tower, nothing more. And, as Alistair and Anora are both quick to point out, he knows little more than I, whereas Anora certainly seems to know what she's doing."

"So, you are thinking of siding with Anora?"

"I don't know... she certainly seems the most qualified, but... I shouldn't be making this decision. It's too personal..."

"You worry that if he takes the throne, you'll lose him." It wasn't a question. Morrigan could clearly see the conflict across her features.

"I... yeah," she admitted softly, "of course. I... I just can't be certain that I'm making the right choice... that it's not being tainted by my own selfishness..."

"But, if you choose Alistair, are you only doing so to ease your own conscience?"

Lia sighed once more, folding her arms as her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Now you see my dilemma... I still don't know why this is my decision..."

"Have you spoken to Alistair about this?"

"I've tried... he's been clear about the fact that he doesn't want this, but he's... well, he's being Alistair and is leaving the final decision up to me. It doesn't help that while we're here, we can't exactly... say anything, or really talk."

"So, this was why you insisted on being out here?"

Lia shrugged. "The fresh air is a privilege that I was long denied. It's easy to feel claustrophobic in those city buildings..."

"Truer words were never spoken, my friend."

Lia sighed once more. "I just... I have to know that I'm doing what's right for Ferelden. That I'm not being selfish..."

Morrigan simply shook her head. "Why? You owe these people nothing, Lia. These are the same idiots who saw fit to lock you in that tower to begin with. You are going to end the Blight, but you owe them nothing more than that. Surely you've earned the right to be a little bit selfish..."

"I... I don't know. I just don't know..."

"Your certainty matters little. It will still fall to you to make this decision."

"I know, I just... I hope that I don't cock it up... for all our sakes..."


End file.
